( there is someone unbearably warm beside him, and natsume turns his face and squints at the light coming from the window in the ceiling (ugh, is it that late already?)—it takes him a moment to realize what it is, who it is, and it gives him a small start, shifting back automatically.
his shoulder presses against the wall, and then it's his back on the wall as he turns around fully. subaru should know better—subaru does know better.
natsume rubs the sleep out of his eyes, still feeling unbearably tired and more than a little nauseous, and reaches over to shake subaru's shoulder. )
[the other makes a small noise, pressing his face more into his arms.
... not for long, slowly waking himself from the half-doze he'd fallen into; he lifts his head and stares at natsume, registering the wakeness of the other and immediately moving closer, and yes he knows better, he does, but he's still going to try and wriggle his way into natsume's space so he can press his face against the other, inhaling and then exhaling in a huff.
holding a little too tightly, maybe. he'll loosen and let go and whatnot if natsume pushes at him, but not without an unusual amount of reluctance. despite all that, his voice and tone are warm and teasing, like normal, normal.]
You sure took your time waking up, Natsume. I was worried you weren't gonna wake up at all, y'know? And there's not a single prince around to break your sleeping spell.
( STOP why, he doesn't even smell nice—he probably still smells faintly of the same perfume he wore to the meeting the other day, a cinnamon and vanilla affair. he wiggles his hand between him and subaru to push at him, though it stops, hesitant, when he realizes just how long he's being held.
...he grips subaru's shirt instead, loose. )
A prince wouldn't work on me anyWAY. I'm not a prinCESS. ( ... ) How long was I aSLEEP?
[natsume always smells nice. it's a normal scent, a familiar scent, at least in the sense of it's inherently so natsume. he hums, working the drowse out of his brain to count the hours.]
... Mmmm. A day and then some. You were out like a light yesterday, none of us could wake you.
[which probably explains natsume's everything he's feeling. better that he did sleep yesterday anyway...]
Want me to get you some toast? You must be starving. Sally~ used to tell me that you oughta eat something light if you hadn't eaten in a while, and it's quick too.
You're forgiven~. I know how long you worked on everything the other day, so...
[... yeah. subaru lays like that a moment longer, then reluctantly pulls away to stand; he pauses in his stretching when his fingers brush the bottom of one of his hanging suncatchers, though natsume can't see the line his mouth makes at a passing thought, before turning back and grinning at the other.]
I'll be back~. Don't fall asleep again.
[and he'll be off...! just for a minute, to grab toast and maybe a can of tea... green, he thinks? is supposed to be good on stomachs? yeah...]
( natsume sits up slowly once he's gone; he'll get up briefly to steal subaru's pillow from the top bunk and use it to help prop himself up in his own bed. his eyes'll be closed when subaru returns, but he has deep breaths to calm his vertigo and all else.
...had the meeting gone much more poorly without him there, or had things calmed down? had anything happened yesterday? it was only a day, it wasn't like he was out for a week... certainly things should have been fine... but then why did subaru seemed so distressed? worry couldn't have just been it, but...
the thoughts are numerous but lazy, dragged by oversleep fatigue and his empty, angry stomach, and he'll slowly crack open an eye again when the door opens. )
[subaru's quiet when he steps back in, carefully shutting the door out of a picked up habit from stargazing most nights, and he turns on a bright smile when he sees natsume peeking his good eye at him, sitting down with the toast and canned tea.
... boy. he doesn't know how to start on... anything... from the past week, much less few days, so he'll just gesture for natsume to enjoy his breakfast-lunch. he can formulate his thoughts, maybe, if his friend doesn't call him out on his quiet mood.]
( natsume picks at the food, small bites until his stomach starts to agree with the motion, and when it does is when he sets his toast down and narrows his eyes at subaru. )
You're awfully quiET. I would've expected you to be ten times louDER... It isn't as if the little bat is around to fuss at YOU.
[-- whoops, he'll fix it by immediately throwing himself back onto natsume's bed... onto natsume that is, hello ☆]
I just wanted to make sure you were good first! All nice and settled! Did you have any prophetic dreams? Oh, the meeting went okay after you left, but not like in a "everything quieted down" as soon as you went, it actually got louder but only food was thrown. I've got notes!
[... and he's off again, ever a flurry of motion, climbing up to his bunk and pausing at the pictures of daikichi keigo drew him, then taking the notebook and dropping back down to, once again, be in natsume's space.
there's various notes and such from class in here, all marked with doggy drawings and some other animals too, before he gets to the relevant notes from the lecture and there's more daikichis there, sniffing at the words and looking... somewhat spikey.]
Careful~. I pressed a little hard, so the pencil might come off on your hands.
( oof-- and he's gone before natsume can fuss at him for the glomping. natsume takes the notebook and flips through it, taking care not to smudge the notes.
he's not really reading them, but it's nice to see them. he'll read them properly later. for now, there's something... someone more important to read right now. )
Good on you for growing more considerATE. ( a beat. ) But who do you think you're fooLING, Baru-kun?
( ...he's going back to picking at his food, but literally, just tearing the toast into little pieces. )
I thought you were over faking anything with ME, considering I already saw through it when we were first years togeTHER, but I suppose you haven't grown up that MUCH.
[... what he's trying to do, which it is and that's why he cuts himself off, glancing back at natsume for a moment before getting up to make sure the door's locked.
... he doesn't think aira or helena would be coming by to check on natsume anytime soon, since subaru'd volunteered to stay despite the uneasy that comes with the skylight above them, but... there were others who would no doubt want to peek in, and he doesn't feel like having them in here too.
after that... subaru comes back over, plopping himself on the bottom bunk and more accurately into natsume's lap. his head, anyway, it's easier to stare across the room and know there's air, there's space.
...]
How... do you deal with like, seeing dead people?
[not. the spirit sort, which is what it sounds like when he asks at first, distantly curious.]
( good boy. natsume moves his food before subaru has the chance to ruin it, setting it to the side when the weight falls in his lap, and he blinks slowly down at him. his eyes move up, across the room, and his hands leave his food to settle on either side of himself. )
They're no different than the liVING. ( you just know they're not part of them, no matter how solid their form looks, how sometimes it feels if you don't push past it... not minding the numbing cold that comes with their touch. ) Have you seen a ghost recentLY?
so something did occur. it's a bad feeling in his stomach, twisting and turning, and suddenly he really, truly isn't hungry anymore. being out of the loop always makes him a little nervous, a little anxious, but his voice is soft to stay steady. )
I divorce it from my mind and come to terms with it laTER, in front of a toilet and a sink with plenty of handSOAP. ( to put it vaguely enough. he's gotten a little more used to it, so usually it's just washing his hands until they're raw, even if he isn't the one who committed murder, even if he never had blood on his hands in those cases either. ) What happened while I was aSLEEP?
[that's what subaru remembers doing too, once all was said and done. he can still feel the stickiness of the blood in his palms, though, and how the marble-like eyes were soft but firm within them. his stomach churns and he saws at the feelings, cutting them off harshly the way he'd ended up doing laying in the nurse's office until he felt well enough just to
leave. he'd wanted to spend time with keigo to get his mind off things, but... amami was there, so...]
... So yesterday, we found a total of nine bodies. One of them was burnt to a crisp the same way that fake Clamor had done, it was cut in half and hung up above both entrances... Another was hung up -- whole -- over the elevator...
[the rest'll come in a proper gathering, all the evidence laid out once everyone has had their peace with the situation, of who's died and who it could possibly be, because whether or not the school detectives who found and poked around at everything come together on that log to tell what they found subaru wouldn't. really want to say anything about it so soon.
natsume'd just woke up, after all.]
I found an arm. And a pair of eyes. I'm really glad you have such pretty gold ones, Natsume, it's been hard to look into pretty much any normal students' eyes 'cause they're the same color.
You're the only one who's glad for the color of my EYES.
( they otherwise invite distrust. he can't blame them, but it hurts, a knife between his ribs every time. )
...What an over-the-top show of murDER. ( maybe they need a drama club in this school. still: subaru obviously isn't taking it well. how could he? so natsume lays his hands on subaru's head and cards his fingers through his hair a little, the way he does to anyone when they're upset, the way he's been treated when he was a kid. ) I suppose everything's been taken care of by NOW... I'll have to talk to the others and see what they found—
( but he can't move, with subaru on him, so he lets that drop. )
[it feels a little odd, to be comforted by natsume of all people like this, but he closes his eyes and forces the habitual nerves that come from someone enacting something on him that he didn't agree to aside; it's his best friend, and any other day he'd crave something new, something interesting, from the other like this.
... it's just that the way natsume's nails slide through his short hair feels like claws ready to pry.]
You and I aren't alike in this SENSE, Baru-kun. Your feelings will rot you from the inside OUT.
( like a pumpkin and its seeds. no, natsume could've stood to talk about bodies and murders and everything else he's decided needed compartmentalizing, the weight of a young rokuro arata heavy between him and komaeda, but, well.
( we won't talk about how he knows. burnt badly like the fake clamor had done it, torn in half... the other whole... but in front of the elevator, huh? because people use the elevator and it'd be easy for them to see? though who would willingly enter a school after seeing that, maya or the transfer students aside, so it was meant for them... and nine people means it's the largest incident to-date, which he's somewhat grateful for, as cruel as that is.
there must be people missing friends now. poor things. )
You wouldn't like it any better when it's fresh THOUGH, I promise YOU.
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his shoulder presses against the wall, and then it's his back on the wall as he turns around fully. subaru should know better—subaru does know better.
natsume rubs the sleep out of his eyes, still feeling unbearably tired and more than a little nauseous, and reaches over to shake subaru's shoulder. )
...Baru-kun?
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... not for long, slowly waking himself from the half-doze he'd fallen into; he lifts his head and stares at natsume, registering the wakeness of the other and immediately moving closer, and yes he knows better, he does, but he's still going to try and wriggle his way into natsume's space so he can press his face against the other, inhaling and then exhaling in a huff.
holding a little too tightly, maybe. he'll loosen and let go and whatnot if natsume pushes at him, but not without an unusual amount of reluctance. despite all that, his voice and tone are warm and teasing, like normal, normal.]
You sure took your time waking up, Natsume. I was worried you weren't gonna wake up at all, y'know? And there's not a single prince around to break your sleeping spell.
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...he grips subaru's shirt instead, loose. )
A prince wouldn't work on me anyWAY. I'm not a prinCESS. ( ... ) How long was I aSLEEP?
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... Mmmm. A day and then some. You were out like a light yesterday, none of us could wake you.
[which probably explains natsume's everything he's feeling. better that he did sleep yesterday anyway...]
Want me to get you some toast? You must be starving. Sally~ used to tell me that you oughta eat something light if you hadn't eaten in a while, and it's quick too.
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...Toast'll do just FINE. ( while he reorients himself. ) Sorry for causing you conCERN. It's not like ME.
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[... yeah. subaru lays like that a moment longer, then reluctantly pulls away to stand; he pauses in his stretching when his fingers brush the bottom of one of his hanging suncatchers, though natsume can't see the line his mouth makes at a passing thought, before turning back and grinning at the other.]
I'll be back~. Don't fall asleep again.
[and he'll be off...! just for a minute, to grab toast and maybe a can of tea... green, he thinks? is supposed to be good on stomachs? yeah...]
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...had the meeting gone much more poorly without him there, or had things calmed down? had anything happened yesterday? it was only a day, it wasn't like he was out for a week... certainly things should have been fine... but then why did subaru seemed so distressed? worry couldn't have just been it, but...
the thoughts are numerous but lazy, dragged by oversleep fatigue and his empty, angry stomach, and he'll slowly crack open an eye again when the door opens. )
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... boy. he doesn't know how to start on... anything... from the past week, much less few days, so he'll just gesture for natsume to enjoy his breakfast-lunch. he can formulate his thoughts, maybe, if his friend doesn't call him out on his quiet mood.]
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You're awfully quiET. I would've expected you to be ten times louDER... It isn't as if the little bat is around to fuss at YOU.
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I just wanted to make sure you were good first! All nice and settled! Did you have any prophetic dreams? Oh, the meeting went okay after you left, but not like in a "everything quieted down" as soon as you went, it actually got louder but only food was thrown. I've got notes!
[... and he's off again, ever a flurry of motion, climbing up to his bunk and pausing at the pictures of daikichi keigo drew him, then taking the notebook and dropping back down to, once again, be in natsume's space.
there's various notes and such from class in here, all marked with doggy drawings and some other animals too, before he gets to the relevant notes from the lecture and there's more daikichis there, sniffing at the words and looking... somewhat spikey.]
Careful~. I pressed a little hard, so the pencil might come off on your hands.
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he's not really reading them, but it's nice to see them. he'll read them properly later. for now, there's something... someone more important to read right now. )
Good on you for growing more considerATE. ( a beat. ) But who do you think you're fooLING, Baru-kun?
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I dunno what you're talking about.
[but he's not looking at natsume, so.]
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Baru-kun.
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Natsume.
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I thought you were over faking anything with ME, considering I already saw through it when we were first years togeTHER, but I suppose you haven't grown up that MUCH.
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[... what he's trying to do, which it is and that's why he cuts himself off, glancing back at natsume for a moment before getting up to make sure the door's locked.
... he doesn't think aira or helena would be coming by to check on natsume anytime soon, since subaru'd volunteered to stay despite the uneasy that comes with the skylight above them, but... there were others who would no doubt want to peek in, and he doesn't feel like having them in here too.
after that... subaru comes back over, plopping himself on the bottom bunk and more accurately into natsume's lap. his head, anyway, it's easier to stare across the room and know there's air, there's space.
...]
How... do you deal with like, seeing dead people?
[not. the spirit sort, which is what it sounds like when he asks at first, distantly curious.]
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They're no different than the liVING. ( you just know they're not part of them, no matter how solid their form looks, how sometimes it feels if you don't push past it... not minding the numbing cold that comes with their touch. ) Have you seen a ghost recentLY?
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[... he turns his head into the other's lap a bit.]
But I meant more, like, the part before they're a ghost.
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so something did occur. it's a bad feeling in his stomach, twisting and turning, and suddenly he really, truly isn't hungry anymore. being out of the loop always makes him a little nervous, a little anxious, but his voice is soft to stay steady. )
I divorce it from my mind and come to terms with it laTER, in front of a toilet and a sink with plenty of handSOAP. ( to put it vaguely enough. he's gotten a little more used to it, so usually it's just washing his hands until they're raw, even if he isn't the one who committed murder, even if he never had blood on his hands in those cases either. ) What happened while I was aSLEEP?
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leave. he'd wanted to spend time with keigo to get his mind off things, but... amami was there, so...]
... So yesterday, we found a total of nine bodies. One of them was burnt to a crisp the same way that fake Clamor had done, it was cut in half and hung up above both entrances... Another was hung up -- whole -- over the elevator...
[the rest'll come in a proper gathering, all the evidence laid out once everyone has had their peace with the situation, of who's died and who it could possibly be, because whether or not the school detectives who found and poked around at everything come together on that log to tell what they found subaru wouldn't. really want to say anything about it so soon.
natsume'd just woke up, after all.]
I found an arm. And a pair of eyes. I'm really glad you have such pretty gold ones, Natsume, it's been hard to look into pretty much any normal students' eyes 'cause they're the same color.
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( they otherwise invite distrust. he can't blame them, but it hurts, a knife between his ribs every time. )
...What an over-the-top show of murDER. ( maybe they need a drama club in this school. still: subaru obviously isn't taking it well. how could he? so natsume lays his hands on subaru's head and cards his fingers through his hair a little, the way he does to anyone when they're upset, the way he's been treated when he was a kid. ) I suppose everything's been taken care of by NOW... I'll have to talk to the others and see what they found—
( but he can't move, with subaru on him, so he lets that drop. )
Would you like to talk about IT?
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... it's just that the way natsume's nails slide through his short hair feels like claws ready to pry.]
... What's there to talk about?
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( like a pumpkin and its seeds. no, natsume could've stood to talk about bodies and murders and everything else he's decided needed compartmentalizing, the weight of a young rokuro arata heavy between him and komaeda, but, well.
well, well. )
Whatever you'd like to talk aBOUT.
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idly,]
Blood's a lot stickier than I thought it'd be.
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( we won't talk about how he knows. burnt badly like the fake clamor had done it, torn in half... the other whole... but in front of the elevator, huh? because people use the elevator and it'd be easy for them to see? though who would willingly enter a school after seeing that, maya or the transfer students aside, so it was meant for them... and nine people means it's the largest incident to-date, which he's somewhat grateful for, as cruel as that is.
there must be people missing friends now. poor things. )
You wouldn't like it any better when it's fresh THOUGH, I promise YOU.
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