well, it's been a minute since. the whole meeting thing. with things revealed... the truth more fully laid bare... there's an empty feeling scratching at his heart, still lingering since a week ago, but anger smolders further within it. he fiddles around the whole day, slinking back to school to attend a class or two before he slips away again, laying on the roof and staring at the still-light sky.
it's warming up. he wishes he could enjoy it with someone.
he wishes he could pretend he doesn't know what this means. why it's being asked. he lets it sit in his phone, open and read but unanswered, while he drums his fingers on a stolen laptop's keyboard and pretends he's actually working on his virtual reality program.
so you dont think it mattered ive been thinkin about it
[...
he doesn't know what to say after that though, too much that'd be permanent in words and the fear that lingers heavy with it. so he leaves it there, frustrated and scratching at the concrete of the roof until his finger feels raw.]
( maybe it doesn't seem genuine in the face of ... of how he acted, lashed out, at subaru. how he's still punishing subaru for what he's done. and maybe it isn't entirely genuine, but despite his curt tone and actions, he... )
I Can't Say How It Did, But It Must Have. God Knows All. God Sees All. They Would Have Known Amami-kun's Plan, Too.
god oversees. god doesn't tend to interfere unless asked, traded for something in return. it's fair. his throat closes and he wishes he could go blind, too, but the sun isn't strong enough behind the clouds of the day.]
dont answer its not a question im just really pissed off not at jizosama just in general
[he laughs despite himself, resting his head back on his arm as he smiles. that probably wasn't the intended effect. but... it feels nice. a little normal. even if the texts are back to clipped and cold.]
i am asking to be first in line tho ill let sasara go first because shes a girl
Summary: It Doesn't Matter If I Think It Matters Or Not. It Did. The Actions We Perform For Others, With Others, Stay Marked In Our Hearts. The Knowledge Disappears, But That Which Binds Us To Someone Does Not. Fate Guides Our Meetings. It's No Less For You And The Little Shopkeeper.
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3/7 txt
well, it's been a minute since. the whole meeting thing. with things revealed... the truth more fully laid bare... there's an empty feeling scratching at his heart, still lingering since a week ago, but anger smolders further within it. he fiddles around the whole day, slinking back to school to attend a class or two before he slips away again, laying on the roof and staring at the still-light sky.
it's warming up. he wishes he could enjoy it with someone.
... ... ...]
do you think it mattered?
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he wishes he could pretend he doesn't know what this means. why it's being asked. he lets it sit in his phone, open and read but unanswered, while he drums his fingers on a stolen laptop's keyboard and pretends he's actually working on his virtual reality program.
does he think it mattered? )
"Everything Matters." Kazuki-san Told Me That.
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so you dont think it mattered
ive been thinkin about it
[...
he doesn't know what to say after that though, too much that'd be permanent in words and the fear that lingers heavy with it. so he leaves it there, frustrated and scratching at the concrete of the roof until his finger feels raw.]
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Everything Matters.
( maybe it doesn't seem genuine in the face of ... of how he acted, lashed out, at subaru. how he's still punishing subaru for what he's done. and maybe it isn't entirely genuine, but despite his curt tone and actions, he... )
I Can't Say How It Did, But It Must Have. God Knows All. God Sees All. They Would Have Known Amami-kun's Plan, Too.
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[it's immediate, and he knows it's not fair.
god oversees. god doesn't tend to interfere unless asked, traded for something in return. it's fair. his throat closes and he wishes he could go blind, too, but the sun isn't strong enough behind the clouds of the day.]
dont answer its not a question im just
really pissed off
not at jizosama just in general
[more than that, though, is he's in pain.]
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( such, such a pain. )
Just Punch Something Instead Of Texting Me.
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[a few times, punched something until his knuckles went raw. but bandages cover all, gloves cover all, he takes care not to go too far now.]
this place is a real pain i just wanna throw hands with a wall without worryin about it sendin me somewhere cold
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Pillows.
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[if he hurts enough physically then he can't feel it emotionally for like a few hours]
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i am asking to be first in line tho ill let sasara go first because shes a girl
[and apparently he has manners]
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She Already Punched Him.
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nah
i just wanted to talk to you
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Summary:
It Doesn't Matter If I Think It Matters Or Not.
It Did.
The Actions We Perform For Others, With Others, Stay Marked In Our Hearts. The Knowledge Disappears, But That Which Binds Us To Someone Does Not.
Fate Guides Our Meetings. It's No Less For You And The Little Shopkeeper.
Good Bye, Akehoshi-kun.
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thanks, natsume