( it's after the party, probably, and there's going to be a few knocks against natsume's door. he did tell komaeda to visit with these... plates, and plates of cookies, and so he's here. )
( natsume is tired, on the edge of falling asleep, but komaeda's voice brings him back to waking and he gets up with a heavy sigh. the reason for the visit flickers in his mind, in and out, and he rubs the sleep from his eyes before he opens his eyes.
god that is a lot of cookies. )
Look at how much people care about YOU, Nagito-kun. You've got enough to make anyone SICK.
( natsume takes one of the plates from him, peering back over his shoulder before he steps out and shuts the door. )
I'll have them in the study HALL. No one goes there anyWAY.
( safer than his roommates knowing he's doing komaeda any favors, even as a christmas gift-- )
...The way people care about me is quite interesting. I'm not really a fan of sweets.
( so would he call that them caring or mocking? either way, he's put in a position where he can't do anything with these cookies aside from hand them off to natsume. )
But... I didn't know you were interested in them.
( cookies that is, and when komaeda thought he had an idea on how natsume's tastebuds worked. they didn't seem to far away, but he does have a type of bread that maybe he could share with him. )
Come now... are our peers that bad at studying, well... Tazuna-kun struggles a lot.
( but he can eat them, so he's going to. he's quiet until they get there, until he leads them across the room and takes a seat at one of the tables there. ugh... it seems like only yesterday he'd held a meeting in here, gotten into a heated argument, and left to cool his head and found...
natsume takes one of the cookies and gives it a nibble; shortbread, so it isn't that sweet, and he keeps at it. )
I imagine people prefer to study in their rooms or the library if they're going to do that anyWHERE, not HERE... Despite its stated purPOSE. ( natsume doesn't have to study, so he wouldn't know. he just reads ahead and gets top marks. his classmates probably hate that about him, really. ) Does anyone actually know you don't like SWEETS? If not, then I'm not surprised this is what they dropped off for YOU. Baked goods are often of the dessert varieTY, and Christmas is particularly associated with THEM.
( done. another cookie, christmas-tree shaped. hmm, sweeter, but he'll deal. )
Tell them what you actually like and they'll just give you that endlessly instead next TIME.
( once they find a place to sit and chat, komaeda finds himself quiet majority of the way. listening to natsume becomes second nature some days due to having such riveting conversations, not only that, he's unable to keep his eyes off the other's lips, and how he indulges in one cookie, and then another.
komaeda was right, he knows then, but to see him eating them here, in front of him feels so taboo. he doesn't take his eyes off, instead he settles his elbows on the table, his chin resting in his palm. )
Ahaha, thank you for spending the night with me, Sakasaki-kun. It has been... almost a year.
( just a few more days, and the new year will come, they'll live their few more months, and everything will come to an end, supposedly. )
Hinata-kun might, but he's lost his memories. Hm... Telling them what I like, it won't matter, they'll come to forget, just like everything else.
( he informs before looking at the plate of cookies, and with his prosthetic, he'll start placing the cookies in their proper order. )
I really don't want much aside from watching you, and their hope grow. It's the same wish everyday, nothing will top that for me.
Maybe not mine, but the stomachs of those to come, it's fine. One sacrifice for the sake of many, I truly don't mind it.
( it's true, he needs literal food to survive, but there's been days where he hasn't ate for weeks, and he was lucky to be found before he passed out, or even worse. picking up one of the peppermints, he places them right before natsume. )
...It's true, some don't. Has your memory ever been questioned, Sakasaki-kun? At any moment, at any time within this school?
Really? ( his head lifts, perking up from the other's words. ) Scum like me is special enough to get a notable mention?
( there's a small drip of sarcasm as he chuckles right after, there's no need hiding anything from natsume. he's still eating so that's good, even komaeda piles them one after the other... is natsume known to having a black hole for a stomach? )
I know you're quite privy to exchanging information, so I wondered if you'd do the same with me.
( a certain something...? nothing specific, though natsume has his guesses. it just doesn't come up in their talks, and his gaze flicks down to the cookies as he considers it. the theme... tying... hmm. )
I do, though it's something that's more or less speculaTION... Yet I don't see any reason that it couldn't be TRUE. ( and given natsume does his best not to speak too much on things he doesn't have some basis or concrete thought to, well, maybe it's worth a little more than nothing. ) You FIRST.
( it's natsume, even though komaeda omits certain things, he won't really keep him out of the loop. he's someone that the ultimate finds himself able to build conclusions to, and make up theories that may make sense. he doesn't want to work with information that doesn't make sense either, he hums. )
I will list you everything I saw from start to finish, and I want you to tell me your thoughts.
A box of chalk; a carved wooden bird; a doll with flowing black hair and a missing arm; an empty flour bag neatly folded with a happy face drawn with marker; strips of colored paper reading "I want to live," "I want freedom," "I want to be loved," "I want to die," "I want to remember;" a resin knife; a resin ring; a button pin; a smooth black stone flecked with silver; a light pink stone ringed with white; a clear stone holding a rainbow; a complete set of go stones; a handful of colorful beads that look like eyes; a math exam with full marks; a pocket notebook filled with sketches of cats; a box cutter; an old PSP; a guitar pick; a feather ring; a broken watch; a pastel chevron bracelet; a small knit bunny; a coin purse containing a single 5 yen coin; photographs of unfamiliar students posing in front of the school gates, sitting underneath a blooming wisteria tree, playing with fireworks on the rooftop, a Christmas party, a cultural festival, a school trip to Tokyo Disney, all with bright smiles and tired eyes; a torn piece of paper with the name "Hikaru Tomori" written on a thick line; silk flowers pinned to all sorts of colors of ribbons expressing congratulations, a myriad amount of normal boring pebbles, packaged peanuts, and so on that you'd put in a time capsule.
There were two words etched into the bottom of the box that read: Memento vivere.
( it all comes off the top of his head while counting on each and every finger to make sure he stated the precise amount. taking a deep breath, he looks over to natsume as he continues. )
The box had lost its smoothness from years and years of being buried under the ground. ( ... ) How unfortunate, don't you think...?
natsume listens quietly, eyebrows knitting together as the list goes on and on. a time capsule—it certainly sounds like it, and what an interesting collection of items to put in it. )
...Not really; wood naturally deteriorates underground due to moisture and bugs eating away at IT. If anyTHING, it's surprising that it was some amount of good SHAPE. ( hmmm. ) Memento vivere is the direct opposite of memento mori—"remember you must LIVE". I suppose it's a fitting choice of words for people moving on: you can't stay HERE.
( so why would anyone?
except it's hard to give up and move on from people you've laughed beside, you've loved, you've struggled over nights with. impossible for some people, and the thought of moving on—of taking that next step—can be terrifying, in its own way. the unknown is scary to people because it's the unknown.
haruka hasn't seen her older brother since he left. he could have been reincarnated, a different face now, and returned here dozens of times, but she wouldn't have known him on sight, and he wouldn't have known her because he wouldn't see her. who knows what happens, actually? they say reincarnation—they hope—but...
...he has to hope, too. natsume pushes the spiraling thought aside, breaking his cookie in half, and then one of those halves into a quarter. )
I wonder what the point of making a time capsule is when you won't be able to open IT. If it's solely for helping to keep Kazuki-san bound to this place TOO, does it need the iTEMS? Though he's always sounded fond of his students when he talked about them to ME... Perhaps they're mementos from THEM, or from people he was close to that gifted him something to remember them BY.
I've heard he's always loved his students, and that they were important to him.
( he leans back in his chair as well, crossing his legs as he looks over to the light that hangs over them. part of him wishes there was a fly that would casually buzz towards the light, eventually extinguishing it's life from being too curious. that's how this works, he believes, people who don't know will go through a time trying to accept. for all four of them, they came to an conclusion that didn't make sense at first, but... )
Though, I guess he wouldn't need to open it if it's just meant to keep him in place. I did think about taking various items from it, but... I left it all alone. That's all from the past.
( watching natsume think is always interesting, like the way his brow twitches, or how sharp his gaze becomes when he's in thought. komaeda's eyes only remain on him for a moment before looking at the cookie that he's broken. none of the items inside crumbled as easily as it, but he guesses some of it is in good condition no matter the erosion that happens underground, it would have to be sturdy, because if anything else... kazuki would have disappeared by now. )
I believe so, mementos from his beloved students, but... maybe he wasn't meant to open it, he needed three keys, to be able to open it... and they were distributed among the student body.
( a hand raises to his shin as he carries natsume along to his own thoughts on the matter, )
Fujioka-senpai told me he felt like we were here for a reason—that there was something that he had to DO, though he didn't know what it WAS. That it wasn't a coincidence that we of all people were put into this SCHOOL, and not anyone else who might have DIED. We're here because of who we ARE.
( and maybe there's some weight to the idea, but for what reason? )
That's my TRADE. ( well, he could tell him about the counselor... but knowing komaeda, he's already talked to him about this and that. he's a freak. ) He asked me if I didn't find any of this familiar even a little bit THOUGH.
( ... )
Did any of those items feel familiar to you when you looked at THEM? Anything you might be able to source as having belonged to you or someone you knew at some POINT. Call it a gut feeling that you should know what meaning it HAD.
...Because of who we are, Rokkun would say that to me many a time. That I needed to keep being me, but to remind someone of that doesn't seem normal.
( just like how they're told to open their eyes, but rokkun has always commented that komaeda needed to spread hope to help the school turn, as long as he was himself. he guesses if komaeda had became anything else, then maybe something would happen...? though, that's probably not what akki was trying to articulate when saying that, but because of how each individual is has a reason here.
... )
Does Fujioka-kun know how he died, but you should figure out how many tallies he has as well.
( he taps his fingers against the table, )
"I want to live," "I want freedom," "I want to be loved," "I want to die," "I want to remember;" reminds me of this years Tanabata, but the resin knife reminds me of the gift that Arisu-kun gave to Stephanie. Anything of mine, however, doesn't feel familiar... there's Go stones, but Goto-kun apparently plays that game as well, but...
( he finds himself going silent, tapping at the pictures of the fireworks on the rooftop. it's like his mind's being read, picked apart on what he was going to do for the future. natsume was one of the people who were going to be involved, so he comments: )
A few days, I spoke with P-kun about getting fireworks together for Hinata-kun's birthday on the rooftop this New Year's Eve. Does any of this seem familiar to you in a third party perspective.
I asked about his talLIES, but he considers them a fairly private affair and wouldn't share them with ME.
( hiro was nicer, trading numbers for numbers. he still never found out maya's, but...
...
it doesn't matter. )
You're right about the KNIFE. ( but unfamiliar students... hikaru tomori... that means this would probably be from last year—none of them were "awake" then, yet some of these things don't...
hmm. ) The little viper had a box cutter, didn't SHE? And the doll reminds me of the girl who was the only graduate of her class—that was Tomori-san, corRECT?
( she'd been missing an arm, too. but what a terrible doll. )
Baru-kun's fond of COINS, and Hiro-kun likes drawing—he had a sketch of the wisteria tree the first time I saw him drawing THOUGH, not anything like a CAT.
That sounds as if he's as sensitive as Rokkun tends to be, he doesn't like discussing tallies, I asked if he wanted to see mine, and he rejected.
( it might be because of what they represent, those endless years that continue to loop in the same timeframe for him, concurrent and never ending. watching them rack up, being able to do nothing about them, and just die, wake up, grow angrier as he sees another added mark.
a sigh. )
Yes, I'm glad you see what I'm seeing... it's too many things that overlap with what we know. Hm, even though some things haven't happened, I wonder if it's a guide of what to do... or not do.
( he'll write down all the items with a sheet of paper close by, and a pencil as he writes the names of those that are mentioned, and who the items might belong to. )
Ebalon-kun is also an artist so I thought the cats belonged to him... The chalk reminds me of Saihara-kun's little trick against a teacher...
( he slides the paper over to natsume, settling his elbow against the table as he looks to the side. )
How would this be possible?
( komaeda has his thoughts, but does natsume agree? does he see it too? he can push if need be, but he knows natsume doesn't need komaeda to tell him everything because he's smart, he's just as aware. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
12/25 — night
Sakaksaki-kun, are you in?
no subject
god that is a lot of cookies. )
Look at how much people care about YOU, Nagito-kun. You've got enough to make anyone SICK.
( natsume takes one of the plates from him, peering back over his shoulder before he steps out and shuts the door. )
I'll have them in the study HALL. No one goes there anyWAY.
( safer than his roommates knowing he's doing komaeda any favors, even as a christmas gift-- )
no subject
( so would he call that them caring or mocking? either way, he's put in a position where he can't do anything with these cookies aside from hand them off to natsume. )
But... I didn't know you were interested in them.
( cookies that is, and when komaeda thought he had an idea on how natsume's tastebuds worked. they didn't seem to far away, but he does have a type of bread that maybe he could share with him. )
Come now... are our peers that bad at studying, well... Tazuna-kun struggles a lot.
( he's following. )
no subject
( but he can eat them, so he's going to. he's quiet until they get there, until he leads them across the room and takes a seat at one of the tables there. ugh... it seems like only yesterday he'd held a meeting in here, gotten into a heated argument, and left to cool his head and found...
natsume takes one of the cookies and gives it a nibble; shortbread, so it isn't that sweet, and he keeps at it. )
I imagine people prefer to study in their rooms or the library if they're going to do that anyWHERE, not HERE... Despite its stated purPOSE. ( natsume doesn't have to study, so he wouldn't know. he just reads ahead and gets top marks. his classmates probably hate that about him, really. ) Does anyone actually know you don't like SWEETS? If not, then I'm not surprised this is what they dropped off for YOU. Baked goods are often of the dessert varieTY, and Christmas is particularly associated with THEM.
( done. another cookie, christmas-tree shaped. hmm, sweeter, but he'll deal. )
Tell them what you actually like and they'll just give you that endlessly instead next TIME.
no subject
komaeda was right, he knows then, but to see him eating them here, in front of him feels so taboo. he doesn't take his eyes off, instead he settles his elbows on the table, his chin resting in his palm. )
Ahaha, thank you for spending the night with me, Sakasaki-kun. It has been... almost a year.
( just a few more days, and the new year will come, they'll live their few more months, and everything will come to an end, supposedly. )
Hinata-kun might, but he's lost his memories. Hm... Telling them what I like, it won't matter, they'll come to forget, just like everything else.
( he informs before looking at the plate of cookies, and with his prosthetic, he'll start placing the cookies in their proper order. )
I really don't want much aside from watching you, and their hope grow. It's the same wish everyday, nothing will top that for me.
no subject
( even komaeda has to acknowledge that universal truth. words are words, in the end. only that and nothing more. )
...Not everyone forGETS, ( he continues after a moment, gaze lifting from the cookies. ) I pride myself on having a fantastic memory, actualLY.
no subject
( it's true, he needs literal food to survive, but there's been days where he hasn't ate for weeks, and he was lucky to be found before he passed out, or even worse. picking up one of the peppermints, he places them right before natsume. )
...It's true, some don't. Has your memory ever been questioned, Sakasaki-kun? At any moment, at any time within this school?
no subject
( tired, irritated, bored looks. natsume takes one of the peppermints and frowns at it, but... that's his next one, he guesses. )
And you, just NOW.
( to get really assholishly technical here. )
no subject
( there's a small drip of sarcasm as he chuckles right after, there's no need hiding anything from natsume. he's still eating so that's good, even komaeda piles them one after the other... is natsume known to having a black hole for a stomach? )
I know you're quite privy to exchanging information, so I wondered if you'd do the same with me.
no subject
Depends on the information you have to TRADE, and what you want to KNOW. Name BOTH.
no subject
( more or less, he has information surrounding that which may be interesting. )
This information is life changing to some, so anything that matches the theme is fine with me. Surely you have something nice for me.
no subject
I do, though it's something that's more or less speculaTION... Yet I don't see any reason that it couldn't be TRUE. ( and given natsume does his best not to speak too much on things he doesn't have some basis or concrete thought to, well, maybe it's worth a little more than nothing. ) You FIRST.
no subject
( it's natsume, even though komaeda omits certain things, he won't really keep him out of the loop. he's someone that the ultimate finds himself able to build conclusions to, and make up theories that may make sense. he doesn't want to work with information that doesn't make sense either, he hums. )
I will list you everything I saw from start to finish, and I want you to tell me your thoughts.
no subject
no subject
There were two words etched into the bottom of the box that read: Memento vivere.
( it all comes off the top of his head while counting on each and every finger to make sure he stated the precise amount. taking a deep breath, he looks over to natsume as he continues. )
The box had lost its smoothness from years and years of being buried under the ground. ( ... ) How unfortunate, don't you think...?
no subject
natsume listens quietly, eyebrows knitting together as the list goes on and on. a time capsule—it certainly sounds like it, and what an interesting collection of items to put in it. )
...Not really; wood naturally deteriorates underground due to moisture and bugs eating away at IT. If anyTHING, it's surprising that it was some amount of good SHAPE. ( hmmm. ) Memento vivere is the direct opposite of memento mori—"remember you must LIVE". I suppose it's a fitting choice of words for people moving on: you can't stay HERE.
( so why would anyone?
except it's hard to give up and move on from people you've laughed beside, you've loved, you've struggled over nights with. impossible for some people, and the thought of moving on—of taking that next step—can be terrifying, in its own way. the unknown is scary to people because it's the unknown.
haruka hasn't seen her older brother since he left. he could have been reincarnated, a different face now, and returned here dozens of times, but she wouldn't have known him on sight, and he wouldn't have known her because he wouldn't see her. who knows what happens, actually? they say reincarnation—they hope—but...
...he has to hope, too. natsume pushes the spiraling thought aside, breaking his cookie in half, and then one of those halves into a quarter. )
I wonder what the point of making a time capsule is when you won't be able to open IT. If it's solely for helping to keep Kazuki-san bound to this place TOO, does it need the iTEMS? Though he's always sounded fond of his students when he talked about them to ME... Perhaps they're mementos from THEM, or from people he was close to that gifted him something to remember them BY.
no subject
( he leans back in his chair as well, crossing his legs as he looks over to the light that hangs over them. part of him wishes there was a fly that would casually buzz towards the light, eventually extinguishing it's life from being too curious. that's how this works, he believes, people who don't know will go through a time trying to accept. for all four of them, they came to an conclusion that didn't make sense at first, but... )
Though, I guess he wouldn't need to open it if it's just meant to keep him in place. I did think about taking various items from it, but... I left it all alone. That's all from the past.
( watching natsume think is always interesting, like the way his brow twitches, or how sharp his gaze becomes when he's in thought. komaeda's eyes only remain on him for a moment before looking at the cookie that he's broken. none of the items inside crumbled as easily as it, but he guesses some of it is in good condition no matter the erosion that happens underground, it would have to be sturdy, because if anything else... kazuki would have disappeared by now. )
I believe so, mementos from his beloved students, but... maybe he wasn't meant to open it, he needed three keys, to be able to open it... and they were distributed among the student body.
( a hand raises to his shin as he carries natsume along to his own thoughts on the matter, )
What if it was for us to see.
no subject
doesn't any of this seem familiar to you?
you did well, preventing your tragedy. )
Fujioka-senpai told me he felt like we were here for a reason—that there was something that he had to DO, though he didn't know what it WAS. That it wasn't a coincidence that we of all people were put into this SCHOOL, and not anyone else who might have DIED. We're here because of who we ARE.
( and maybe there's some weight to the idea, but for what reason? )
That's my TRADE. ( well, he could tell him about the counselor... but knowing komaeda, he's already talked to him about this and that. he's a freak. ) He asked me if I didn't find any of this familiar even a little bit THOUGH.
( ... )
Did any of those items feel familiar to you when you looked at THEM? Anything you might be able to source as having belonged to you or someone you knew at some POINT. Call it a gut feeling that you should know what meaning it HAD.
no subject
( just like how they're told to open their eyes, but rokkun has always commented that komaeda needed to spread hope to help the school turn, as long as he was himself. he guesses if komaeda had became anything else, then maybe something would happen...? though, that's probably not what akki was trying to articulate when saying that, but because of how each individual is has a reason here.
... )
Does Fujioka-kun know how he died, but you should figure out how many tallies he has as well.
( he taps his fingers against the table, )
"I want to live," "I want freedom," "I want to be loved," "I want to die," "I want to remember;" reminds me of this years Tanabata, but the resin knife reminds me of the gift that Arisu-kun gave to Stephanie. Anything of mine, however, doesn't feel familiar... there's Go stones, but Goto-kun apparently plays that game as well, but...
( he finds himself going silent, tapping at the pictures of the fireworks on the rooftop. it's like his mind's being read, picked apart on what he was going to do for the future. natsume was one of the people who were going to be involved, so he comments: )
A few days, I spoke with P-kun about getting fireworks together for Hinata-kun's birthday on the rooftop this New Year's Eve. Does any of this seem familiar to you in a third party perspective.
( the box cutter... )
no subject
( hiro was nicer, trading numbers for numbers. he still never found out maya's, but...
...
it doesn't matter. )
You're right about the KNIFE. ( but unfamiliar students... hikaru tomori... that means this would probably be from last year—none of them were "awake" then, yet some of these things don't...
hmm. ) The little viper had a box cutter, didn't SHE? And the doll reminds me of the girl who was the only graduate of her class—that was Tomori-san, corRECT?
( she'd been missing an arm, too. but what a terrible doll. )
Baru-kun's fond of COINS, and Hiro-kun likes drawing—he had a sketch of the wisteria tree the first time I saw him drawing THOUGH, not anything like a CAT.
no subject
( it might be because of what they represent, those endless years that continue to loop in the same timeframe for him, concurrent and never ending. watching them rack up, being able to do nothing about them, and just die, wake up, grow angrier as he sees another added mark.
a sigh. )
Yes, I'm glad you see what I'm seeing... it's too many things that overlap with what we know. Hm, even though some things haven't happened, I wonder if it's a guide of what to do... or not do.
( he'll write down all the items with a sheet of paper close by, and a pencil as he writes the names of those that are mentioned, and who the items might belong to. )
Ebalon-kun is also an artist so I thought the cats belonged to him... The chalk reminds me of Saihara-kun's little trick against a teacher...
( he slides the paper over to natsume, settling his elbow against the table as he looks to the side. )
How would this be possible?
( komaeda has his thoughts, but does natsume agree? does he see it too? he can push if need be, but he knows natsume doesn't need komaeda to tell him everything because he's smart, he's just as aware. )